Ever since I was a young child I have endured years of domestic violence, bullying, learning disabilities, and illnesses which led to depression and PTSD. Over the past year and a half, I have overcome most of this. It has been an emotional but amazing journey. I have made great strides in my life. I am in a season of living it up and thinking positively.
I will start from the beginning. At age four I was diagnosed with ADHD. At that time my mom was told that I would never graduate from high school or even go to university/college. My mom refused to believe what was said, so she started coaching me. She worked with me for many years. Due to an illness, I didn’t finish high school. In 2004 I started to upgrade my education. While doing my high school upgrading, I was on the Honor Roll twice. In June 2006, I graduated from high school. In September of that year I started the office administration program. At this time I was involved in the Student Association. First as Vice president of Student Life and then as President. I had an instructor tell me that I would fail the program. I managed to keep my marks between 85-90% and do my job as President. Being president required chair ing and attending meetings, writing up by-laws, and procedures for the Annual General Meeting. At the end of my program, the instructor said she was sorry and she misjudged me. Now I am applying at University in September to take Youth Ministry. My mom was basically told I wouldn’t amount to anything. Boy, were they wrong.
It’s sad to say that domestic violence has been a major part of my life. When I was a baby my biological father was an alcoholic. He was abusive to my mom and put alcohol in my baby bottle. She finally left him. She had a few boyfriends off and on. When I was 8 years old, one of her live in boyfriends abused me. Mom was working late and I had friends over after school, which I wasn’t supposed to. Phil, (mom’s boyfriend) came home and caught my friends in the house. He sent all of them home. While I was in the bathroom he came in and started hitting me on my neck, then he sent me to bed. I didn’t see my mom that night and was sent to school with bruises all over my neck. She kicked him out that day after the school called her. When I was nine mom got married to someone who I thought was good. I watched him abuse my mom for years. When I was twelve he started physically but mostly emotionally abusing me. They finally got divorced when I was 15. Mom remarried when I was 16 to my current step-dad. Although he’s better than most of the men in my past, he can still at times be emotionally abusive towards me. Because of all of these men and the abuse I suffered, I had such a hatred towards all men. I wouldn’t have anything to do with them. Trust was the biggest issue for me. I thought that they were all like that.
When I was 16 I was diagnosed with bone cancer in my left leg. After I was diagnosed I lost my faith in God. I was so young and so confused. During the treatment and surgeries, I met friends that were going through similar things. I was already emotionally fragile and quite a few of these friends past away. This was the time the depression took hold and I changed from a happy girl to a miserable teenager and woman.
Over the past year and a half I have become happier. I feel accepted for the first time in my life. I have friends and go out with them. I am not isolated anymore. My faith has given me strength and I found community and family in the church I attend. I enjoy talking to everyone, including men. I can even give and receive hugs from them. I went to my first super bowl party and enjoyed myself. I can’t wait to help youth with their self-esteem problems and know that they are loved no matter what. I believe that telling my struggles can help other and this makes all the difference.
