Ok, I have never, I mean never shown these pictures to anyone other than my bff’s, my hubby (who laughed) and of course, my mother. I decided to show them to my 5 year old son because we’re working on a school memory book much like the one I have with these pictures in it. I am about to show them to the world of cyber space. Deep breath. Ok, here we go.
Grade 2: Ok, who didn’t have a missing front tooth and bottle glasses at this age, right?…. right??
Grade 3: I told you I had buck teeth. Here I now have bottle glasses AND buck teeth. Score.
Read more:
Grade 6: Pre-braces. I started liking boys at this age. You can imagine how that went…
Grade 7: my first year of middle school, a.k.a. worst years of my life. I was “Connie Chunk”… with braces.
Grade 8: good news: the braces are off! Bad news: is anyone else seeing my life in school is clearly not getting any better? I used to beg God to make me beautiful..
Grade 9: instead He made me “cute”. Look at those cheeks. And yes, the hair is a sign of the 80′s. Oh ya.
Grade 10: noticed any similarities between grade 9 and 10? I learned to smile with my mouth closed. I was too embarrassed to show my teeth.
Grade 11: embracing the smile regardless.
Grade 12: Funny story with my grad picture; I was tubing and my eye rammed into my friends chin, thus leaving me with a blue eye just in the lid therefore bringing on the blue eyeshadow in full force on other eye. I’m thankful it’s not noticeable. On the other hand, the early 90′s hair is beyond help.
My college graduation. I’m the white girl.
What do you say to someone homely like me? ”You’re fearfully and wonderfully made”, right? The “fearful” part may be on the right track…
All kidding aside, growing up I knew I was homely. I knew my buck teeth and chubby appearance didn’t “meet the standard”. Well meaning people with their “fearfully and wonderfully” encouragement were sweet people, but I couldn’t believe them. After all, Seventeen magazine told me otherwise. Even if I wanted to believe what God said was true, I wasn’t open to His opinion. I wanted theirs.
I’m ashamed to admit that looking at my pictures with my son made me shudder. I found myself thinking, “YIKES, what an ugly child!” You know the ones I speak of. How many times have we seen a homely baby or child and thought it. We clearly have been discipled by media well.
If you’re looking for an answer or a profound statement in this blog, I don’t have one other than this question: What were you thinking as you looked through my pictures? Did you shudder like I did? (no offence taken if you did). My thoughts revealed to me I clearly have issues with what beauty is and was created to be. Even a culture rebel like myself still doesn’t get it.
But I want to.
I’m committed to the process of being discipled by something greater than media. It’s a daily (sometimes hourly) switch of the mind and heart. Whatever I see and hear the most wins my heart over. I need to guard what my heart sees for hope of any change in my thinking.
16 Responses to My diary of a buck tooth, chubby kid grade 2-12. I told you I was homely…
Dani Letkeman
July 19, 2012
I never realized the impact media has on us until grade nine! My teacher was showing us this dove video that starts will a woman who is then all dolled up, and then is continually photoshopped. The end result is nothing less than a media godess. The problem was, my teacher said, “look kids, look how they started with an ugly girl and then made her beautiful”
If he was truely trying to teach us that that beauty was fake, shouldn’t he be teaching us that everyone is beautiful? Even the woman in her jeans and sweat shirt? The media has told us what is beauitful so many times, we cant even fathom that God would expect us to think everyone he created was beautiful. Even the “not so beautiful people”
When I brought this home to my family, they even said, “well Dani, you have to admit, there are some not as good looking people in the world” (Umm? Hello?!?) I refuse to believe that. There are no ugly people in the world.
Connie, I know those pictures haunt you, I know first hand that children can be mean and nasty… But when I look at those pictures, I dont see an ugly duckling, I see a beautiful child of God… And its too bad that the people that are brainwashed by the world have to go around and share their thoughts.
connie
July 19, 2012
you commented
Dani, such wisdom in your youth! I’m so happy to hear you could recognize the lack of truth in what you were learning at school. Many wouldn’t see that. I love your resilience to stand for what matters. I like how you see 
sheri
July 19, 2012
Hey Connie, just thought you should know that I didn’t think any of the things you said and I only shuddered at that gr. 7 middle part, feathered hair lol! only because I have one of those pics of my very own. I think that because you had the history of emotions that went along these pics that we see them differently.
Probably in school I’d have been one of those mean kids – so on behalf of all of them out there: I am sorry for every hurtful word ever spoken to you about your looks, hair teeth, body, glasses!
Thank you so much for sharing you, with us
btw… your 80′s and early 90′s hair rocks it’s day!
connie
July 19, 2012
Thanks Sheri! long live the 80′s hair! lol
andrea
July 19, 2012
I think you are a total cutie in all those photos. And what a great smile!
connie
July 19, 2012
LOL, you said the “c” word. Me and cute… haha. That’s what my hubby said too. Alas, I must embrace “cute”. I joke about it. If there’s one thing I loved to do (and still do) is laugh. There’s nothing like a contagious smile.
Tim
July 19, 2012
What was I thinking as I scrolled through the pictures? I was thinking, “Kids are awesome!” Then again, I did youth ministry for a couple decades so maybe I’m biased.
Tim
P.S. I didn’t win any good-looking-guy awards when I was growing up either.
connie
July 19, 2012
haha, yes! gotta love kids!
Tim
July 19, 2012
P.S. “I told you I was homely…”
No you weren’t. I remember once telling a friend of mine that I didn’t like my school picture because of how I looked in it. This was around seventh grade and he was one of the guys popular with girls. He looked at the pic and said, “It’s fine. What do you want, to look like Robert Redford?”
My picture didn’t look so bad after that.
Ann
July 19, 2012
Grade 2 photo, you’re adorable.
My thoughts on the rest of the pictures? I don’t see anything ugly about them. We all have pictures of crazy hairstyles, and eyeglasses that should never have been worn, but sometimes it’s fun to look back at what we thought was stylish LoL
Personally, I’ve always been too shy for my own good. I was afraid to talk to people, and it didn’t help that I thought I was so fat. I look back at pictures of me as a teen and I wish I could be that “fat” again
connie
July 19, 2012
you bring up an interesting truth, Ann. We are our own worst enemy. You don’t see “ugly”, yet those pictures brought back all the harsh words. We all struggle with what we think we should be. We beat ourselves for being; too fat, too skinny, too shy, too outspoken… So true, Ann
Katie
July 19, 2012
I look at those photos and just want to give your younger self a hug. And then figure out what gives her joy and nurture that.
connie
July 19, 2012
aww
Stephanie
July 19, 2012
I don’t see an ugly girl in any of those photos. I see a girl who looks a lot like I used to (coke bottle glasses) & some of my friends. She looks like she likes to laugh and has a kind heart. That is worth more than pure gold.
paige
July 19, 2012
Being a homely child myself my heart aches when i see people made fun of or thinking of them selves as ugly. Now I pray I can raise my boys to see everyone as god sees them not how society does. I have to say that’s when i stopped worrying how I looked when I realised how god sees me and loves me. And fyi Connie you were super cute, really I love your school photos!
Lee-Ann
July 19, 2012
You need to read a book called “Beauty by the book” by Nancy Stafford. This book helped my with my perception of who I was “trying” to be vs who I am on Jesus’ eyes. Realistic and to the point not a bunch of Christianese. Check it out I’m sure you’ll like it.