On the way to church last week, my five year old asked me, “Mommy, why do we go to church?”
Good question. I honestly had a hard time answering. For me, its just something I’ve always done since I was three. Below are a series of answers I thought of giving, but when thought through, I wasn’t even buying it. A lot of food for thought for the church wanting last another generation; a generation all asking the same question: “Why go to church?”
I thought of saying, “To grow in our faith”. Although this is somewhat true, I don’t want my son to see church as the only place his faith grows. Faith is meant to be cultivated into the ins and outs of daily living. The last thing I desire is to raise a Sunday morning “good-boy” who only knows how to live out faith through church activities.
I wanted to say, “To get together with others who are following after Christ”, but I knew what he would say through his simple, five year old thinking; “But can’t we do that anytime?” A valid thought provoking thoughts of what genuine community looks like. Is seeing one another on a Sunday morning living in community? (as I rush past friends, and maybe even someone in need, to pick up my children from nursery and Children’s church)
I would have loved to say, “It’s a place where the poor and broken come to be a part of a family”, but is it? How ironic is it that just before my son asked me his question, I was pondering what Jesus would think of those who populate the pews and are welcomed into our churches? I realize all of us are broken and in need of grace, but how would we respond to a cross dresser if they walked into our building? What if a stripper came to church dressed promiscuously because she had nothing else to wear? What if another who carried a garbage bag full of empty bottles sat down next to one of our broken, yet polished, members? If I answered my son this way, would he tangibly see my answer to be true? He knows what the poor look like. If I asked him, would he say seeing them in church is a regular occurrence? I think we need to re-evaluate who church really has become about. If we are serious about who Jesus is about, we may have a mass renovation to undertake.
As someone who loves worship, I was tempted to say, “It’s a place we go to worship God”, but I wouldn’t want him to think of singing songs and sitting and listening once a week as worship. I want him to know that choosing to be nice to his brother is worship as well (trust me, I really want him to know that one…)
And even though it goes against everything I learned as a young person, I am rebelling against the idea of teaching my son that church is a place he brings “lost” people to. I don’t want my son growing up with an “us and not-us” mentality. I don’t want him to see church numbers as a successful church. I want him to be able to truly see people. To love them and want to invite them into community to embrace a life of discipleship together, which includes meeting together. This opposes the “bring them to church so we can say we had 1000 people this Sunday!” This “us and not-us” mentality is causing terrible separation between the church and those it is called to. I want radical discipleship for my son and the adventure of reaching people where they are; not seeing them as “projects”.
My son needs to see the risk Christ intended for His body. Yet what he sees looks similar to school; organized activity for learning. I’m not saying it’s wrong, I’m just seeing at five years old, he’s already yearning for more.
Maybe I am too?
16 Responses to Some serious questions for the church from my five year old
Anna
June 22, 2012
Hey this was really good! It really made me think. I don’t have any answers but here are my thoughts. I think church should be a little bit of all you said. Church should be a place where we as like minded people can get together encourage and up lift as well hear from God. I also go back to Hebrews 10: 19-25 At the end it says to encourage people to come together and not stop meeting. I sometimes feel that is is for obedience. Christ asks us to. I have seen more and more in my short years of life where setting time aside for Christ is no longer a priority that everything else is. We are teaching our kids “it is ok to not meet with God or liked minded people you have a swim meet” yes we can meet with God where ever and whenever. We teach ourselves that sacrificing one day well not even that a few hours a week to Christ is more important then anything else in our lives. I do also believe there is way more to it than this but. But this is one thing I see. I’m not great with words so I hope this makes sense. Also we should feel honored in the biblical days before Christ we couldn’t enter into the temple to worship but Christ as made it possible this is and honor. So here are a few of my views. I really enjoy your blogs they are really great!
connie
June 22, 2012
yes, meeting together is important! There’s synergy when meeting together! I think for this to cease is not good at all
Mandi
June 22, 2012
Perhaps it is just one of the places we go to help us fill our cup and fill the cup of others – it is not the be-all and end-all, but it is one of the strategies we use – that way perhaps he can look at the congregation and realize that not everyone fills their cup the same way or that there is only one strategy. I think that explanation would also teach mindfulness of other’s situations as well as an understanding that use all the strategies open to you and move on to another strategy when one no longer works for you.
It is interesting how all things interconnect – thank you for making me think!
connie
June 22, 2012
true, Mandi. Fill our cup and fill other’s cups. There needs to be somewhere that can happen. And yes, the strategy doesn’t have to look like we see it. There’s no limit to what it can look like! I think if I could dream a bit, I’d love a place to gather where you see the elite and the poorest of the poor all in one place. That idea gets me pretty jazzed
Tim
June 22, 2012
“I want him to know that choosing to be nice to his brother is worship as well (trust me, I really want him to know that one…)” Made me chuckle, Connie.
Michelle Middel
June 22, 2012
Hi Connie, interesting post. For us (other than Fred being the Pastor LOL) church is for Corporate Worship. Like you said you want Ben to know that we can worship on our own and in different ways, but when we all come together to worship in unity, there is something VERY powerful in that!
connie
June 22, 2012
true, Michelle! worshipping together is powerful
jenn
June 22, 2012
Yah…you wrote my thoughts. I myself grew up in it all too…. And today…have a really hard time trying to explain to the poor and people on the streets why I go. I have come to the conclusion I dont need church. We need each other. ..But churches have really done a lot of harm if we depend on it for community, fellowship, and love. They dont even get near the issues of the poor cuz they have no clue whats going on. Or the inner pain of the most in pain. Pastors are not skilled to heal people. Psychiatrists are. They are trained at least. Doctors….physicians etc. But pastors are trained to care. I dont see them standing up being advocates for the poor and helpless. I wish I could say I had a reason to go to church….but if the kingdon of God is inside you…why does anyone need a building to go to. Ive got no answers to give the poor and people on the streets to go to church. I have a great christian psychiatrist i can send them too. Who is educated and trained to help the struggling work through their thinking to a better way of life…but send them to church? What for?
jenn
June 22, 2012
In Victoria…the poor appreciate the churches that open the door for a mat to sleep on at night… Or the people that go who are willing to give them some change on the way in…other than that they will walk out on any sermons that arent real or life-changing….better yet…not even dare to step in….knowing they dont “fit”.
jenn
June 22, 2012
Id say church is for middle to high class people..those that want to have life more abundant and have someone else tell them the way.
Problem is when they want to reach out to the poor… They dont realize they arent helping by thinking they know the way. We all have our own way to creator but in church we are taught theres only one way and we have to tell everyone it. We need to shut up. Theres a start. We are supposed to act in love not “tell” people the way to go. Like my psychiatrist says..we are witnesses of the gospel….so go and DO what is right.
Mike
June 23, 2012
The answer is: Community. The Hebrews story asks you to come together. It asks that for a reason. The reason is that when people come together to and talk and share, community happens. Your five year old can see that the ritual has become more real than the purpose.
You are right about “the church” needing to change if it wants to survive. The only way it will do that is if the people who belong to it change it.
In your church goings: Do you have meaningful conversations with others? Do you physically do anything that helps each other? Do you meet new people of the same or other faiths, or cultures, or social means? Is church the place or the people?
Don’t answer your five your old with just words. Ask yourself how you can change your church goings to make the meaning more obvious. Demonstrate the answer. That might mean allowing the ritual to change a little for you and those around you at least a little.
Question the ritual, to strengthen the purpose. You (and you five year old) have already started to and that’s exactly what the church needs.
M.
connie
June 23, 2012
Mike, you are on to something. Community is powerful and is the key. That’s exactly what we’re working towards as a family and in the body we reside in and where we live. Great thoughts!
Tim
June 25, 2012
The church needs to change in order to survive? The Church is the eternal Bride and Body of Christ. I’m not worried about its chances of survival.
Blessings,
Tim
connie
June 25, 2012
I agree Tim, Upon this Rock, He said. I think we have an opportunity to be the church He envisioned more than ever. Will we be comfortable or step out?
Tim
June 25, 2012
Connie, that made me think of the old saying that Jesus comforted the afflicted and afflicted the comfortable. I think if we refuse to step out we will necessarily start to feel uncomfortable because we are going against the very nature of the Spirit of Christ who lives in us now and for eternity.