Mommy-worry moment. You know, when you feel you have to make a decision that’s going to effect your child’s entire future (at the young age of six..) Yup, I had one of those anxiety attacks this week. Here’s how it went down:
We had applied for my son Ben to attend a spanish school back in February. We were told he was #7 on the waiting list to get into this coveted school. We figured that was a done-deal, so we put him in a French school. Such good Canadian parents
Second day of Ben in his french school, I get a call from the Spanish school saying there was a space for him! My heart leaped! No, you don’t understand. I LOVE spanish people. I really wasn’t supposed to be white. I’m always trying to figure out how to squeeze into the spanish group at my church, but I can’t seem to get past; “Hola” and “tacito”. Some of my closest friends are spanish. I love the music and haven’t you noticed that anything sounds better in spanish? You could tell me to screw off and it would still sound romantic…
We felt good about our decision to apply for the Spanish school back in February. After all, Ben’s first word when he was thirteen months (I kid you not) was, “Hola”. I’m serious! Check it out here. We love spanish music and culture as a family as well. Ben would love to go to South America one day.
Needless to say, when we were told about the waiting list our hearts sunk, but we moved on. French it would be. We told ourselves how awesome it would be for Ben to learn french. Imagine all the doors for employment in Canada it would open for him?! Government, cultural studies, Prime MINISTER, a flight attendant for Air Canada… When Spanish was an option again, I felt his entire future was in my hands. French would lead “here”, and Spanish would lead “there”… How am I supposed to determine what the future would hold for my son? If I screwed this up, his life would be ruined!
That is the exact mindset that can make us moms go crazy.
Here’s what I felt after my anxious freak-out was over: “You’ll be blessed in French, blessed in Spanish”. It was like God was saying that no matter what the choice, it would turn out good. There are some things in our children’s lives that will seem like it’s the largest decision in the world; what preschool they should attend, what sport they should play, what hobby they should try… what language they should learn. Moms, be free from the agonizing pain of feeling these seemingly large decisions rest on you. Be free. You are blessed - going in and out. At the end of the day, God is directing your path and your child’s path. Rest assured. He doesn’t often let mere humans mess up His plans – and even if we try, He works around it. He’s an expert at working all things for good, just sayin’.
You don’t have to carry this weight any longer. It will only lead to shame. Let go and trust.